Posted in General Posts by Rebekah Cassinari on 7/20/2010
I've had this blog written out in my journal about our last ministry month for quite a while, and now that its 2am, I've got time to finally type it out! ;)
All year I wasn't at all looking forward to our last month in Thailand. Our squad was split guys/girls and I was secretly hoping ministry would fall through cause I was pretty sure I wasn't going to learn anything amazing or grand working with the bar girls in Thailand's "red light" district, or being with our girls all month.
I was so incredibly wrong.
The first night we went out, I was nervous. Brandy and I prayed before-hand and she reminded me that God will never out me into a situation where he doesn't also give the tools and grace to deal with whatever is going on. By the second conversation that night everything was going great. I was really enjoying getting to talk to the girls and hear their stories. And when we went back to where we were staying that night I was so completely excited about our month and what God was going to do. Every night after that, God took away my nervousness and I was genuinely excited to see the women.
When we showed up each night at about 9:30pm, the party-like atmosphere on Bangla Road was just getting warmed up. Neon lights, loud music, and people trying to sell you everything imaginable. One of the things I noticed was a large Buddhist statue at the end of a sidestreet. The women would come in at the beginning of their night, heavy makeup, clothes too tight and too short. They would go to the statue first, take their heels off, light incense, and pray before heading to their bar for the night. I asked one girl what she prayed for. "For good money," she told me, "and a good man who will love and take care of me."
It was easy to pass judgement on the men there and get angry, but I realized that the cries of the men and women of that place were the same. It's not only the women of that place who need help, it's the men too. And that's not something I thought I would ever say about any man in that sort of situation, but both want to be loved and cared about, the enemy just has them looking up dead end streets...sure that the next woman will bring them contentment, or that the next man will truly love them.
The enemy is in the business of cheap imitation, and he is good at what he does.
I remember reading in C.S. Lewis' "Screwtape Letters" how Screwtape tells Wormwood that the best way to get us (humans) to believe a lie, is to put a little truth in it. And from what I've seen of life in my short 24 years, its true. Throw a straight lie at us, and most of us can see it for what it is. But mix a little truth in, and the concoction becomes deadly. The truth that satan uses in this lie is that we as humans need other people in our lives, and we are made for relationship. Both of those are true, but God created us not only to depend upon each other, but ultimately to crave a lasting and holy relationship with Him.
Bangla Road was the ultimate deception of satan played out right in front of me each night. Our contact told us that the suicide rate among single foreign men there was unsually high.
People are craving good things, but looking in all the wrong places.
I feel like a lot of this year was about God giving me a "holy" pair of sunglasses of sorts. He's taken the time to patiently work through my insecurities in life and change my viewpoint completely. There are days when I'm stubborn and don't want to choose to see the world the way He does because its so much easier to sit back in all my "righteousness" and pass judgment on those around me, than it is to put on my "glasses" and see others through the eyes of Christ.
Of all the girls I talked to night after night, I met only one who didn't send most of the money she made to her parents. And that woman was strictly a bartender. In Thai culture, when parents can no longer provide for themselves, their children step in and provide. This arrangement, more often than not, falls on the shoulders of their girls. Only in very rare instances do the men provide for their parents. When I tried to question this way of thinking the women became almost defensive telling me that "its just the way Thai culture works."
When I asked if they liked their jobs, 100% of the women I posed the question to said no. One woman who spoke English fluently asked me, "Do you really think we like doing this? Selling our bodies night after night? Of course not. Nobody likes it, but we have to live and provide for our families." Then she shrugged as if accepting her fate.
Her story was almost carbon-copy for every woman I talked with. Jom has a little three year old boy she hasn't seen in months. Her face lit up as she showed me pictures of him from her cell phone. She only gets to see him a few times a year but calls every day to talk to him. When I asked if she was going to work here forever she laughed and said no. "Only a few more months" she told me. Then she paused, "or maybe until January. When I have enought money, then I will quit." Many of the other girls said the same thing. A few more months, or until the end of the year. But Jom has been here two years.
Many of the girls have hope that one of their "boyfriends" as they call the men who purchase them, will fall in love with them and take them back to their country. The rumors of contracts growing into love fly fast and thick in the bars. Yet another cord the enemy uses to tie them there, since they are sure that the next customer will truly love them. When I asked one girl if I could pray for her, she nodded then asked me to pray that a rich white man would fall in love with her and want to take care of her and her small daughter.
It was easy to feel that we weren't making a difference, and to get discouraged. But when one girl left the bars and moved into SHE ministry while we were there, it put everything into perspective. I'd remember how Jesus views "His girls." They are SO beautiful to Him and He loves them so incredibly. He sees that they feel hopeless and trapped in their jobs with no way out, He knows their heartache and hurt and they pain they hold. And He loves them all the more for all the hurt they've lived through.
This month I learned that love is real. That hurts happen, but that forgiveness may be the single most powerful thing on this planet.
(ps - much love and thanks to everyone who has supported me this year. You are AWESOME! =]
I'm still in need of $1,400 so if you'd like to help, please click here).
Posted in General Posts by Rebekah Cassinari on 7/13/2010
Its past midnight and of course I'm still awake. Ask any of my teammates...I'm a night owl ;)
I've been thinking a lot about the race this past week and everything that I've learned in the 10 1/2 months I was gone. I've officially been "home" a week now and it just feels odd. On one hand, everything is familiar. I know exactly where I am at all times (not a norm on the WR ;) My friends and family are the same. The grocery stores and malls are the same.
One of my biggest fears in leaving was that I was going to get back and everything would be different. People would forget me and I'd be alone, but that hasn't happened at all. Instead, I'm realizing that its me that has changed.
Outwardly I look pretty much the same except for my haircut (and a couple extra pounds courtesy of Africa. ;)
Inside however, I am completely changed. God has done an incredible work in my life this year....which is something I'll have to write about in another blog since I'm getting sleepy =]
Posted in General Posts by Rebekah Cassinari on 5/2/2010
She didn't particularly stand out in the group of kids, until I looked at her up close.
She
was dirty, had scars up her arms which looked like cigarett burns. Her
hair was tangled and messy. On her face she had a huge red mark and a
swolen lip. Later I would find out that she was 10 years old. From her
size you would have guessed 8 or younger.
We got to minister to
a group of kids the other day. Shelter kids. All either from the
streets, or pulled from abusive situations.
I couldn't speak her
language and she couldn't speak mine. I sat next to her on the hard,
dirty concrete and put my arm around her small shoulders.
She flinched, and my heart was instantly broken.
We sat like that for most of the time. There were songs and dances. People
talked and snacks were handed out.
She
and I just sat together in silence. Through a translator I found out
her age and that her name was Thuan. Unless someone spoke directly to
her to ask a question she wouldn't make a sound. When she was
accidentally handed two snack packages, she handed one to me. Refusing
to keep it even when I tried to make her take it. She ate slowly,
almost as if she wanted
every bite to last an eternity.
As our time together progressed she warmed to me, but wouldn't smile no matter how hard I tried to make her laugh.
.
At the close of the scheduled program we had a time to play with the
kids at the playground. Thuan just stood by me for a few minutes before
finally walking toward a slide. Climbing the stairs slowly, she reached
the top and looked down for me. I smiled and waved at her to come down.
As she came down the slide I saw something for the first time.
Posted in General Posts by Rebekah Cassinari on 4/7/2010
Sorry i never posted this. But i'm prettttty technologically challenged and didn't know how to post it. haha so...here it is! (better late than never...right :)
Posted in General Posts by Rebekah Cassinari on 4/6/2010
Hey guys =]
Here is the video of the church and people that we spent our time with in Uganda. Please watch this and if you feel led, donate to the cause and regardless, please remember the people of Pader and Victory Outreach Church in your prayers.
Posted in General Posts by Rebekah Cassinari on 3/22/2010
Sooooo...there's something I've been thinking about for quite a while. Ever since I saw "Batman Begins." =] There is a line in the movie where one of the characters says that its not who we are on the inside, but what we do that defines us. I initally hated that idea. I thought it was stupid....I mean, who really believes that? Its who I am internally that really defines me... Right?
But after further contemplation I think I might be wrong...
When someone kills another human we call him a murderer. If someone steals they are called a thief. In everyday life, people are defined by what they do. However I feel like a lot of the things most of us do in life are mixed up. We eat the extra piece of chocolate cake we don't need and shouldn't have...then lie to ourselves about the extra five pounds we gained. We plan to workout, then watch a movie. We intend to start studying early, only to end up cramming the night before a test.
I know I should be doing more for Jesus, but I am content to check my bible reading off and call it a day. After all, it says in Gal. 2:15 "We know that a man is not justified by works, but by faith in Jesus Christ" So even if i'm not DOING everything I know I should, I'm saved. It only matters who I am on the inside. I can call myself a good christian....cause, well, inside I am right? It doesn't really matter that outwardly I do all the things I don't want to do, and the things I want to do....I don't do. Even Paul recognized this when he wrote that "nothing good " lies within us. He says "For what I want to do, I dont do. And what I don't want to do, I do."
My only consolation for how I was living my life was the thought that on the inside I was a better person than I actually acted. And if people only knew what I was inside, they'd see that my intentions are good. Or maybe if things were just better overall. Easier. If I hadn't had the things happen if my life that did. If my childhood were different. If the messed-up pieces of my life suddenly fell into place. THEN I would be on the outside everything that I believe I am on the inside.
Which allowed me to let myself feel better overall about the shortcomings in life.
Lame.
Honestly, if i lived like I was defined by what I did...I'd be a lottttt more careful. I wouldn't have a crutch to lean on
anymore. I would be the ONLY one responsible for what I did for Christ and how my life ended up. I wouldn't have any more excuses for what I do or don't do. Nobody and nothing to blame. And I think thats why I originally hated that movie line.. It made me think, and I guess I don't want to be responsible. At my most basic level, I suppose I really want my shortcomings in life to be something or someone elses' fault.
...just as long as they're not mine.
So I guess I both agree and disagree with the movie. I think that yes, we are responsible for our actions in life, but as a christian, I need to depend on God for strength and not rely upon myself. God wants us to not only be hearers of the word, but doers as well. Yes, I am saved. I am a child of the King. But, that doesn't excuse me from actually, physically, following Him. James 2:22 says "His (Abraham's) faith and actions were working together, and his faith was made complete by what he did"
Apart from God, I have a lot of ideas and intentions. I want to do a lot of "good" things..and sometimes I can muster up
enough energy to do them. But in the end, I always seem to come back where to I started. Romans 7:18 says "For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out" This trip for instance. Here I am, in Africa. Doing what most people would call a "good" thing. I'm helping widows, orphans.. preaching Jesus' love. But without God, its all a bunch of fluff. And honestly, can get pretty hard. I can grit my teeth and smile. Trying to make it through another day when its a million degrees outside. All the while wishing I were in my air-conditioning back home, or I can truly see these people as God sees them. And serve them with HIS love, instead of mine.
I guess in all boils down to one of my favorite verses..Gal 5:6 "The only thing that counts is faith expressing itself through love"
Posted in General Posts by Rebekah Cassinari on 3/17/2010
Hey all =]
Just thought Ied let you all know what I'm up to these days. So we're in the beautiful country of Tanzania in a town called Iringa. First time in quite a while that we've had internet. We're staying with a pastor called Chacha (awesome huh? ;])
We teach the kids group, speak at the womens group, visit the elderly , visit hospitals and pray for people there. We went to an orphanage yesterday and were able to have some fun time as well as teaching a bible lesson. On sundays we have about four services (we call it our marathon day ;)
Mama Chacha is teaching me to cook so thats been awesome. Hopefully I'll be able to post some pics soon =]
Please continue to keep me in your prayers as I am 5400.00 short in having the money to complete this trip.
Posted in General Posts by Rebekah Cassinari on 3/12/2010
Coming in from the bright sunlight outside I am momentarily blinded. We have entered a small hut. Standard circular mud walls
with a thatched roof. Doorway so small you have to almost bend double to enter. Its cool in here. Standing out in the hot Ugandan sun feels like a million degrees, while the inside the huts only feel like 90. The smoky atmosphere makes my throat tickle as my eyes slowly begin to adjust.
I'm going door to door (or hut to hut i suppose ;) with Jen and Dan. We, (along with our interpreter) are inviting people to
church, telling people about the love of Jesus, and praying for any needs they might have.
Slowly I am able to make out a woman lying on nothing but a mat between her and the mud floor. A small pile of blankets
beside her. Grace attempts with obvious difficulty to sit up but we assure her we can talk with her lying down. Opposite her is
another woman, Beatrice. She is stirring porridge over a low fire. After talking for a few minutes we find that they are both
christians and we invite them to church. Before leaving we ask if there is anything we can pray for. Beatrice needs us to pray for
school fees for her children. Alice askes us to pray for her baby as i suddenly realize that the blankets beside her are holding a small
infant. She tells us that he was just born. Dan askes how many days ago. She answers rather nonchalantly....four hours.
Shocked, we ask what his name is. Grace and our intrpreter talk for a few minutes before we get the answer. She wants us
to name him! Excited, we start giving out names. Paul.. Caleb.. Her husband comes in, smiling at us broadly as we throw out
names. I give out one.. Joshua. She stops us and says yes. Thats the name she wants. Joshua. I ask her if she knows the story, she tells us she doesn't. So I tell the story of Joshua and how he was a mighty man of God. She smiles excitedly and sits up to show baby Joshua to us. He is soooo tiny and perfect. Little black ringlets of soft hair cover his head and his eyes are closed as he sleeps.
We pray over baby Joshua before leaving. SO excited for the added blessing God gave us today of naming one of his children =]
Please keep him in your prayers if you think of it =]
Posted in General Posts by Rebekah Cassinari on 3/12/2010
Rarely has
anyone seen such pride for a plot of land as was seen on the face of
Pastor JJ's as he took Team Symphony (that is our new team name by the
way... we changed from Team Unwritten in Uganda) to the sight of his
new church. He pointed this way and that detailing where the church
would start, where the pulpit would be. He showed them where he hoped
to build his house on the church land, how close it was to his son
Samuel's school. He told them how in a few years, with the way the town
was expanding, it would be the very center of town with main roads on
all sides. He bragged on this piece of property the way proud mothers
and fathers do on their children.
Really though it was just a regular plot of land. Like almost any
other in Africa. But what you must realize is that Pastor JJ is a man
of vision. He sees what can be, and better yet what will be. He has
only been in Pader, Uganda for 3 years but has already built up a
church that is almost the largest in the town. And we do not mean a
church building. We are talking about a church. A group of people who
come together to worship the Lord. A group of people who are a light to
the community, who are joyful because they have a reason to be joyful.
However as most can attest churches need a place to operate.
We come to you on behalf of Pastor JJ and his church. They are in
need of about $10,000 to build their new church. They have been meeting
in a borrowed building which in the next month will be taken away from
them. If there is one thing we have learned for certain these past 7
months it is that there is so much need in this world. It is
everywhere, it does not matter what corner of the world we go to.
But to be able identify a need for a group of people and even begin to
have the means to meet that - this is a blessing in itself.
Northern Uganda is an area that has experienced much darkness in the
past 20 years. It is an area that has been plagued by wars and
senseless death. Men our own age are haunted by the times that they
were forced to serve in armies, that their fathers, mothers and sisters
were killed, it is an area in recovery, and in need. What better to
invest in than the church? We as Christians claim to know something
that others do not. We claim to hold to a truth that is beyond us, and
beyond this world. If ever darkness was in need of light it is surely
here. If we are in Christ than it is our brothers and sisters in Uganda
whom we are asking you to help.
We, the J Squad, have been given the opportunity to raise money
for Victory Outreach Ministries in Pader, Uganda. They are in need of a
church building. This is not a church building complete with bells and
whistles and Sunday school rooms and gyms. This is a building, a one
room building for God's people to meet. A building for God's people to
come together and worship the lord. A group of people standing as a
light to a community amongst much darkness.
Team Symphony had the opportunity to spend a month with Pastor JJ
and according to the team they have rarely come across a man with such
faith, with such blind obedience to the Lord. Pastor JJ moved his wife
away from his and her family 3 years ago to start this church. His wife
is the only one working to bring money for the family, she works at a
NGO as a maid. The church can not afford to give Pastor JJ a salary.
Any tithe or donation that the church is able to give goes to both
paying for the church building/property and helping those who are in
great need, and believe me there are plenty of these people.
Please help us help this man, this family, this church, and this
community. There is a need to be met, please help us to meet it. We
know many of you have already supported someone on this trip, but we
have no one else to ask. We as a squad are coming together to raise
money for this church. You who are reading this are our church, you are
the people we stand with and so we ask you to help us. Please help us
meet this need, this need which we are capable to meet. Even if we do
not raise the complete $10,000, we can guarantee any amount will be a
blessing to this church. Please seriously and prayerfully considering
donating to a worthy cause, we only have until April, 24th 2010 to
raise the money. PLEASE JOIN US!
(We're trying to publish a video of Victory Outreach Ministries
but are having a difficult time publishing it with the slow internet,
we will post it as soon as possible)
Please select "Support a World Race Project" under Choose Program.
Please enter "2010 Feb J Squad" in the Project Field.
If you wish to send a donation by mail, please make your check payable to Adventures In Missions and mail it to:
Adventures In Missions
P.O. Box 534470
Atlanta, GA 303
Please indicate "World Race Project Fund – 2010 Feb J Squad" in the memo section of the check.
Your gift is tax-deductible.
Posted in General Posts by Rebekah Cassinari on 3/10/2010
Hey guys =] thanks so much for all your prayers. Uganda was pretty rough with getting malaria. But I am doing MUCH better now =] We're in Tanzania now...sooooooo beautiful here. Working with a pastor named Cha Cha...awesome ;] He has us doing all sorts of ministries here. Church almost every night and four times on sundays ;] Visiting hospitals and widows and teaching the youth and women's groups.
Hopefully I'll have more time to write real blogs in these next few weeks =]
